Why does Change Feel so Strange?

There is one thought and feeling that is common to everyone who begins to make healthy changes in their lives.   And that is the thought and feeling that “this is not me, this is not who I am.”

This is true whether the changes involve meditation, exercise, diet, codependence related “assertive living”, or recovery.

ButterflyFor example, we go to a yoga class and find ourselves surrounded by people who are experienced and seem to know what they are doing.  We may feel clumsy and strange, like we “don’t fit in.”

Changes we make to take care of ourselves also inevitable involve feelings of guilt.  These feelings are often reinforced by our loved ones.  Early in the morning or later in the evening we move to a quiet place for meditation or pull out a yoga mat, and we practice.  Our family gives us that look like “what the hell are you doing?”  They complain about how their lives are disrupted and how we are no longer “available,” even if we are only taking 20 minutes out of the usual routine.

In recovery, someone from the old crowd calls and says “let’s get a beer”, or a spouse soul-623424_640pulls out a bottle of wine and offers a glass.  If we reply “no thank you”, suddenly we are “better than they are” and “no longer trusted”.

Within ourselves we ask “What the hell am I doing?  This isn’t me!  I should be enjoying a joint on the back deck,” or “vegging out in front of the TV,” or “sleeping until the last possible second and rushing through the shower and off to work.”

This is the nature of change.  It feels strange.  Other people are better at whatever we are attempting to do.  And the people in our relationships really want stability, they are uncomfortable with change.  Especially in recovery, people we know and love are very wary of change, as they know from experience changes can mean drama or relapse or even worse.

How do we get past this?  Mindfulness teaches us to live one moment at a time.  To accept our temporary discomfort, recognize and accept that these feeling in ourselves and our loved ones are “normal”, and carry on, one step, one moment, one day at a time.

20140704_181100_1We also must be kind to ourselves.  At first, change may happen in starts, stops, and stutters.  Yesterday wasn’t so great, but today I am here, I am doing this, and I feel good about it.

Eventually, we wake up one day and realize that the changes we were attempting to make in our lives are no longer changes.  They are a part of who we are, our day to day lives.  We are no longer uncomfortable with meditation or yoga or going to meetings, in fact we are more uncomfortable with neglecting ourselves.  And we feel relieved when we can get back to our self-care routines.

Change, growth, stepping out and rising to a challenge, all starts with a first step.

At Sunrise Meditation and Counseling we are blessed and happy to be available to help people with that first step towards healthier living.  We will again be offering a series of four Christian Tantric Meditation classes in the beautiful North Georgia Mountains beginning the weekend after Labor Day, Saturday September 10th.   This is an opportunity to experience all four phases of the Christian Tantric Meditation protocol in a low cost short series of classes on four consecutive Saturdays.  The traditional Wellness based Christian Tantric Meditation protocol will be offered from 11:00 AM to 12:30 PM.  And we will again be offering these Meditation classes from Recovery oriented perspective from 9:00 AM-10:30 AM.  Our location is in Sautee Georgia which is near Helen Georgia, about an hour from Gwinnett and about 1.5 hours from Metro Atlanta.

Visit our Workshops page and sign up on line, or call 678-358-8775.  Our rates are very reasonable, 20.00 for a class.

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